SEOTS Entry No.5 My "Mashed Potato" Adventure

As I've talked about previously on this blog, I'm on a low-to-no carb diet. I've been wanting to go on a diet for quite some time now. I went vegan in August/September 2009, so I figure, hey, if I can do that, I can DEFINITELY do this.

I've been looking for some low-to-no carb replacements for things like bread, rice, pasta, and potatoes. The easiest of all of them is the taters. Everyone's been raving about the cauliflower "potatoes". Many of the recipes online detail baking procedures, roasting, microwaving, etc. But the way that is most obvious to the non-cooker that is me is to boil it. Sure, this takes away from some of the taste, but I wanted these cauliflower florets to be as bland as possibly human, because I was looking forward to buttering them up like I do my normal mash.

A few days ago I bought two florets of cauliflower (z0mg, they are SO expensive! $7 for 2! And THAT was the SALE price), and so I throw them in a pot of salted, boiling water. Ten minutes go by... check them, still hard. 15, 20, 25 minutes... this was apparently not meant to be a quick meal. After 25 minutes of tummy grumbling, and watching King of the Hill, I finally pulled them out and didn't care if they were hard, they were going to be mashed into yummy paste and find their way into my stomach. After much slipping and sliding on the chopping board, and with a pair of tongs to hold them steady, I got to chopping. I cut them in half, and de-stemmed them (let me tell you, cauliflower was flying EVERYWHERE) and shoved them into my giant orange bowl. I then proceeded to look for my potato masher, then realized I never had one. Crap.

So I'm mashing these cauliflower the best I can with a wooden spoon, and my tongs - which are actually quite sharp at the ends, mind you - and I realize that THIS IS JUST NOT WORKING. It's looking more like feta cheese now, kinda crumbly and not mashed at all. With a dejected sigh, I feel like this cauliflower conquered me instead, and turned me into a heap of pureed starch. We don't have a food processor - which we SHOULD and I WANT hint hint - but I do realize that we have a blender. Now, it's 9:30pm and my neighbor's probably didn't appreciate the use of the blender that late, but I was desperate to make this mashed cauliflower resemble the potatoes I love so much. And of course, as all SEOTS stories go, I find that my blender is broken. Well, not completely, but the bottom blade portion does not stay where it should. This sounds pretty dangerous, and i'm not one to take chances with flying blender blades, so Michael suggests that I tape it (while he's lasso-ing the accompanying steak flanks). I tape the bottom so that it's somewhat secure for at least 10 minutes, shove my crumbly cauliflower into the blender, add a shitload of butter, and start a-blendin'.

NYYYEEEEERRRRNYERNYERNYER! That was the sound of my blender functioning strangely, but blending nevertheless. It happened to only blend the bottom portion, so I had to take my wooden spoon and mix it every 20 seconds or so (again, my neighbors, their ears, bless them). I did this for about 10 minutes, until I sloshed the blended bits and unblended bits out and threw them back into my ridiculously-oversized-highlighter-orange bowl. At this point they were more along the lines of a cottage cheese consistency (not as runny), so I gave up. I stirred in some garlic salt and a little more butter and admitted to Michael that it was going to be less like MASHED potatoes and more like LUMPY I-let-a-3-year-old-stir my mashed potatoes. He didn't seem to mind.

About the time I finished with the cauliflower, Michael was done with the steak, mushrooms, onions and broccoli. All in all, dinner turned out to be pretty good - I wasn't happy with my cauliflower, but ate it nonetheless. Michael said he enjoyed my cauliflower (although I suspect it was only out of pity). We had a nice dinner at 9:45pm last night, and better yet, enjoyed each other's company in the midst of flying cauliflower and burning steak.

Moral of the story: Always have a food processor.

PinkStar26

(P.S. - I have the picture of this meal (as well as every meal) up on twitter also! It's in the side bar to the right, or you can check out (and subscribe to) twitter.com/buddhafulblog!)

SEOTS Entry No. 4: Sometimes, Having That Extra X Chromosome Sucks

I know everyone's heard this at least once. Women constantly complaining about their monthly whatevers, being bitchy, wah wah-wah wah wah wah wah. That's what men hear anyway. Well that's what I THINK men hear, because I am a woman, and do not have male ears. Anywho, I CAN, however, accurately submit testimony to the daily womanly battles.

1) The Period.

Yeah, this is the focal point of every woman's demise. We BLEED. WE bleed. WE BLEED. From our VAGINA. When men bleed from their urethra, they go see a doctor because something is seriously wrong. When we bleed, (copiously, might I add) we just have to suck it up (not literally, ew) and plaster on that smile and pretend like we are not BLEEDING HEAVILY from concealed areas. But no, no, no, no, no, GOD FORBID if we get a little short tempered or emotional, because we have 958451283764 things to do, and on top of that we are dealing with bloating, menstrual cramps, and bleeding. Being a woman really sucks sometimes.

2) Money.

Okay, these things cost some serious CASH. We've got to buy bras and underwear first of all, and they are quite expensive. Also consider makeup, pantyhose, heels, different kinds of clothes and accesories, lingerie... etc. Tampons are about $6 a box and on average, I'd say a woman goes through about 3/4ths to a whole box in one menstrual cycle. Now this is actually rare, because many women go back and forth between pads and tampons. A package of pads are around teh same price, so you're up to $12. BUT WAIT! You can't just use regular tampons and pads the whole time. You've gotta get heavy and light ones too. So not it's $24, AND then add the cost of pantiliners too. We're up to $29, but no, no, no, it doesn't stop there. Got cramps? Need medicine! A box of Midol is around $8, not to mention a diuretic if you've got some serious bloating. We're now up to $40! Not to mention all the ruined underwear and chocolate consumed. The list goes on forever. Now the tampons and pads should last a while, so the prices may vary from month to month. BUT compared to the men's total of... $0 for this topic, it's way more expensive to be a girl.

3) MEDICAL ISSUES.

So, because our anatomy just happens to be inside and partially outside, women are more prone to get infections and such. STDs, UTIs, and other bacterial or fungal infections are common with women, especially if sexually active. Not to mention the Human Papilloma Virus, that can be transmitted through semen. Thanks guys, rub salt in our wounds, why don't you? It's pretty common to get at least one type of infection in your life in that area, especially if you wear tight, non-breathable undies, or keep your bathing suit on after swimming (who doesn't do that once in a while?). On top of that, most of the medications to treat these infections cost a lot of money (ESPECIALLY if you don't have medical insurance). We also have more serious things like ovarian and uterine cancers and other syndromes and diseases that may screw up your lady bits (granted, we don't have prostates, which mean no prostate cancer, so that's the male equivalent I guess). Also, once you turn 18 or become sexually active, you have to start seing a Gynecologist yearly. Don't WORRY it will be SO FUN that you'll want to go again and again. Believe me? You'll get to experience the cold room, the paper thin gown, the self-conscious doubt, the COLD duck lips contraption, the strange, slippery fingers poking and prodding, the unwanted, UNCOMFORTABLE pressure, and the feeling that you've been professionally violated while they give you a tissue to wipe up afterward. Oh yes, this will be SO much fun. And on top of that, when you get a little older, they stick your breasts into a contraption that flattens them to pancake proportions and you question whether or not it will hurt more to have small boobs or big boobs in this machine. YAAAAY.

4) Another obvious one: Unwanted pregnancy.

Yep, that's right kiddos. If you are sexually active, it's not the man who gets pregnant, has to deal with 9 months of alien-esque body control, morning sickness, or aversions to smells. It's WOMEN. Now, this is a back and forth thing, many women enjoy their pregnancies, but it does take a toll on the body. Once you get pregnant, you're body chemistry will never be the same. Sure you could get in shape, and be healthier than ever before, but your body will not go back to pre-pregnancy make up. Not to mention your boobs stretch and deflate, which can be a real problem amongst women that want to be a post-pregnancy MILF, or at least have better self esteem about their fun bags. Not to mention there are some serious risks with labor, like oh um, DEATH, or profuse bleeding, and internal trauma, etc. Also, pregnancy from rape is a sad, but true issue. That's like physical and emotional rape that lasts for 9+ months, and then you have these uncomfortable options on what you want to do with the life form that you unwillingly created.

5) Society's "Rules".

Here's where the feminism kicks in. So, women are still expected to clean, cook, watch after children, not be more successful than men, not make more money than men, not be as cutthroat in the business industry than men, and basically bow down to men. Well, not in the 21st century, let me tell you that. I am not disuputing the fact of our historical past; That the woman's basic and natural programming is to be the caregiver in the home. Understandable. The men are naturally programmed to hunt and protect. Okay. However, you are telling me that with all the technological advances and evolution of the human race, that genders are not allowed to switch roles? Give me a break. Men don't HUNT anymore (unless it's for fun... or sex), they drive through McDonalds to eat their prey. The most that men will ever protect us from in normal circumstances are bugs and rodents maybe (and damnit, I think it is programmed in women to hate bugs, scream and run away). So what are women still held up to this stigma of being the homemaker? This is the biggest double standard between genders. Women are = (or >) to Men (and before the SUPER feminist man hater steps in, remember that it works both ways. Men are also = (or SOMETIMES >) Women). We need to remember this equation, and make this world an equal place for all genders.

So, go ahead and dispute it; I'm sure men have the answers to counter every one of these facts. I am just merely stating that women generally have a lot of stuff going on, and much of it has to do with the fact that we are women. Oh, genetics, when will you stop torturing us? Never? Never.

However, there are good things from being a woman. A lot of women enjoy the fact that they have uteruses, because I hear birth is a very natural feeling (don't expect me to lick my newborn baby though), and many women enjoy it (that Duggar lady!). I'm sure I won't fully understand until I give birth to a child (if I ever have children). We also get to wear really cute outfits, AND we can wear guys clothes and have it still be socially acceptable, compared to vice versa (although the LBGT community is very welcoming, i'm sure). We also have a reason once a month to be lazy and bitchy (girls, you know you may have fibbed once or twice about the severity of your period... "Oh, honey, i'm so tired, i've got cramps, can you do the dishes?" or have used the line "I'm sorry for snapping, I have my period."). Some of us also have boobs that are very fun to play with (in a non-sexual way), because they can be used as bongoes, or even a place to stick your phone, wallet, keys, umbrella, etc.

Just like the rest of life, it's a give and take system. If only it could be less bloody.

PinkStar26

SEOTS Entry No.3: In the words of Tim Gunn, "Make It Work"

This SEOTS entry topic is one near and dear to my heart. I've always admired people for eliminating "can't" out of their vocabulary. More recently I've wanted to be someone to look up to as reaching their goals, setting higher ones, and attaining their dreams, all the while saying "I can". Nothing can get you farther than a smile and a positive attitude (don't ask me if i want wine with THAT cheese), and I have seen it work it's magic first hand.

I am a whiner (oh, there's that wine). From the time I could speak, I could whine. No doubt about it. Drove my parents insane. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM...!" "...but WHHHHYYYYY?" "I don't WAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAA!". Whine about this, whine about that, nag about this, nag about that. Can't, can't, can't.

Now, I can't recall when exactly I tried to eliminate the word "can't" out of my vocabulary, (did you realize that was a hypocrital sentence?) but I remember making a conscious effort after I got my head bitten off from a classmate of mine.

"You're such a little bitch! Stop being a little bitch and just come with us!" she said. No one had ever called me a bitch to my face before. I was taken aback, and really wanted to cry. I was 19 at the time, and was at my other friend's house. It was the three of us, and they wanted to go out boogie boarding and surfing at a local spot, Kaimana's, near Waikiki beach. Anyone that knows me personally, knows that I hate reef, rough waters, and seaweed. Kaimana's was FULL of all three.

As my other friend kind of just stood by (she wanted me to come with them, so at no point was she going to step in and say that i didn't have to) as the antagonist friend of this story was egging me to come, I just thought of more and more excuses I couldn't go. I didn't have my bathing suit. I didn't shave my legs. I don't like the reef. I don't boogie board or surf. I gotta clean my room. I have homework. (I'm scared!).

After some time as the argument got more and more heated, I gave them a generic response, like "I'll think about it", and left abruptly. I got in my car and cried, because I felt attacked, and I figured that I would get to that point on my own, not by someone's force. I went home with no intention of returning.

About an hour or so later, I got a phone call from my antagonistic classmate, saying she was sorry she was so harsh, and that she just wanted me to come with them and have a good time. For some reason the movie "Yes Man" popped into my head, and for a moment, I pretended to be Jim Carey, and decided to say yes, even if I didn't really want to. So because i'm a softie for apologies (apparently), I decided to come with, and maybe I could just relax on the sand. To make a long story short, I ended up on a boogie board farther out at sea than i've ever been in my entire life. It was nothing short of thrilling.

I had a great time until it started get dark, and we were still far from shore. We worked really hard to paddle in, and by the time we did, the moon was out, and the sun had gone. The beach at night was gorgeous, but I nearly had a mental breakdown trying not to completely lose it over some sharp looking reef and seaweed constantly brushing my legs (I don't know why it scares me so much, but it just does).

I've had many experiences like this with this friend (the non-antagonistic one). It's the reason I look up to her; she is a risk taker, like I could never be. And sometimes when she's around, I feel like I can take a risk or two, and still make it out alive and in once peice. But that's not the moral of the story.

If you don't get over your fears, who do you expect to do it for you? You have to step out of your comfort zone every now and then to open up your mind, your feelings, your body to the universe. And if you don't actually START on the path you want to be on, how will you ever finish?

The point is, if you believe that you CAN'T make something happen, then it CAN'T. Stop making excuses, and just do it! Make it work! Pull through. The first airplane had a lot of disappointments, but eventually they got it right, even though many people told them it was impossible.

I can't afford that, it costs too much money.
I can't do that, I don't have time.
I can't think that way, it's not normal.

Work hard, make money.
MAKE time.
Stop making social rules the law.

This week I want everyone to say "yes" to something they want to say "no" to (this does not include illegal activity!). Take "Can't" out for one day, and reflect on all the experiences you gain.

PinkStar26

SEOTS Entry No. 2: The Visciousness That Is Credit: A Warning For Young Adults

Growing up as a young kid and into my teenage years, my parents and grandparents let me in on some valuable information regarding financing. They told me to work hard, and save money for the things I want. Did I listen? OF COURSE! I saved EVERY LAST PENNY. THE END.

I hope you felt the sarcasm in that. I ended up NOT listening, and spending all my money, so that I have practically none in savings. And once you turn 18, suddenly you get all this mail with credit card offers (and if your parents are smart like mine, they'll shred 'em), and it's like "WOW MONEY OOH". But i'm smarter than that (or so I thought). I did not get a credit card at 18, and I am not in debt, and for that I was proud.

So finally sometime last year around Christmas time, I decided that it was time to branch out a little, and get a car of my own. I tried to get a car with no money down, and no established credit whatsoever, and they all but laughed in my face. So I went home, had a little cry, and made a promise that I was going to save up money over the next six months for a down payment.

Someone also recommended going to a credit union to establish some credit, and that's also what I did. So with the advice of a loan officer there, I took out a small personal loan, and paid it off over 6 months, regularly. I was on my way to getting the car of my dreams!

Over time, things tend to change. Priorities shift, and obstacles seem to get in your way, like those tiny, irritating gnats that fly in your face and hover. I made the decision to move out of my parent's home, and move into a one bedroom apartment with my boyfriend. This decision drastically affected my income, and I seriously had to re-budget myself (which I am still constantly doing). Eventually I paid off the loan, and that same day, I went to the bank to see if my newly established credit paid off. Also, my friend had a car for sale, and it was reasonably priced, and I could afford it.

First of all, my loan officer didnt remember me. Okay, understandable. I hadn't seen her in 6 months, and she probably has a lot of customers. But I did learn some other invaluable information that day. I learned how to completely insult someone into wanting to pull their membership from a credit union! Here's how: 1) Don't remember me. 2) Get my information wrong. 3) Talk over me, and dont let me ask questions. 4) Be all over the place with your information, so I can't follow your train of thought. 5) Speak to me in a condescending tone, like I am a delinquent child.

I was so appalled. I looked around at other credit unions, but was denied because of "insufficient credit history". I asked a loan officer from another union and he said that even though I took out a 6 month personal loan, it's practically the same as having no credit history. I was completely floored. All that work was for nothing. Wasted time and interest paid.

So in order to get even the car, I end up having to go back to my original loan officer with my tail between my legs like a bad dog. Shame, shame, know your name.

It's just a really sad process. I did not get a credit card at 18 when I was "pre-approved" because I knew I was not ready for that responsibility. I knew that I would just shop and spend (I can't tell you how many times I went in the negatives in my actual bank account...). I did the right thing. And after the economy crashed and as the credit and loan market became more skeptical and skeptical about lending, I can no longer get lines of credit in my name.

So my question becomes, how does a young, responsible person without any credit history, get approved for a substantial line of credit to start building credit? It's a bad cycle to be in. And it makes me so unbelievably sad and angry. I'm sad that this reinforces the feeling of shame and being an "irresponsible teenager" when I didn't DO anything to deserve this treatment. I'm angry at all the people before me that went and ruined it for the future kids trying to establish themselves. Now no one wants to take a risk, and shun every young person out there. I mean, I understand how it would be a risk to the bank to some extent, but at the same time, they need to listen to each person's story. Stereotypes at its finest.

What really matters though, is that I was still able to get the loan. It is at a higher interest rate, but fortunately they were still able to finance it. The trick is to keep your head up high, and just remember that you shouldn't feel bad for taking responsibility for yourself. It's always going to be an uphill battle, and if you're lucky like I am, you'll have friends and family to help pick you up when you stumble.

There's a lyric line that has helped me through some tough times from Holly Brook's song "All Will Be Forgotten" - This is dedicated to all my friends and family that have ever helped me out when I needed them the most, and I hope they know I'm there for them too.

"All will be forgotten. Every tear you've cried. As soon as you awaken, to what's right in front of your eyes, standing by your side."

PinkStar26

SEOTS Entry No. 1: Health Crisis!

I hate to start off on a negative note, but I don't understand why people aren't more interested in science and the human body. We've all got one. It's like having a car and not reading the manual; People just kind of "go with the flow" and don't ever wonder if they could be driving more effiiciently. Maybe it's just my questioning and clinical nature.

Anyway, I have been hearing too many people talking about the decline of their health, or family members passing away. It makes me worried and nervous at first, just thinking about how fragile life is, but then transgresses quickly to anger. I'm angry! Why don't people take better care of themselves? I mean, my personal internal conflict alarm (yes, I have one) goes off and says "Well, now, you shouldn't be talking...", and it's true. I'm not in good shape, and I have my own love/hate relationship with laziness and procrastination. But I try not to get sick, and keep my immune system up, so I can focus on getting INTO shape, not keeping myself out.

So, like my status updates on both Twitter and Facebook imply, I challenge everyone to make an effort today and everyday, big or small, to promote personal health. This can range from pushing yourself to run an extra mile today, or just sitting up straight. Any amount of effort is still effort, and can only help improve yourself, so you can do whatever it is you want or need to do.

Here are some tips to give a little positive oomph to your day:

Starting Small:

Desk Job Exercises
While sitting at that desk job of yours (or anywhere for that matter), place a little post-it note at the edge of your computer screen or keyboard with the word "POSTURE" on it. This will be a little reminder to stop slouching, and improve your posture. Improving your posture aids circulation, digestion, muscle and chiropractic health. Not to mention you'll look longer and leaner, even if it's just a few inches. You can also prevent carpal tunnel by doing some wrist and arm stretches, and doing some slow breathing exercises can help focus your mind better for more efficient work.

Chill Out
Know your limits. One of the best things you can do for yourself if you're already in great shape is to know the limits your body is telling you. Don't push yourself into overdrive and exercise until you hurt yourself, and while dieting may be crucial, let yourself indulge every once in a while; It can do miracles for your self-esteem and prevent binging.

Surf the Web
Do some research online. Finding out information about what foods or exercises can gear you up to try new things. Summer is here, which brings an entirely different array of seasonal fruits and veggies, which means a new palette of healthy dishes for you to try. Also, working out outdoors can be a refreshing change of pace for you if you're tired of the same old grays of the indoor gym.

Let Me See Your GRILL
Smile! Even if you don't feel good, greet each person with a smile. This will improve your demeanor towards others and make you more approachable. Also, your facial muscles have "muscle memory", so smiling just may trigger some fond memories to improve your mood.

Bigger Fish to Fry:

Hot Mama
There's nothing better than the feeling you get after knowing you've pushed yourself past your physical goals. When exercising, know your limits, but strive to reach just a little bith farther than you did the day before. There's always room for improvement. You can enhance that post-workout dopamine rush with a long, hot shower. Pay special attention to your muscles that allow you to reach those physical goals. Have an epsom salt bath, or my personal favorite, melt a bath bar from LUSH (try "Karma").

Sometimes It's Not All About You
Instead of opening up your wallet to donate to charities, open up your heart and your schedule. Volunteer some of your time and appreciation for your favorite non-profit organization, and lend a helping hand. You wont get a check at the end of your experience, but you'll get a reward of feeling good about yourself and your actions, and you might even get some physical exercise too.

Switch It Up
Try an entirely different type of workout plan, or a new diet plan. Expand your horizons by exploring a new way to exercise, like yoga, pilates, or even tai chi. This makes it an even better and more fun experience if you can share it with a friend. Also, look for different types of food to aid a new direction in your dieting journey. Switch to low-sugar, or low-sodium, or whatever fits your needs. Or if you're brave enough, try making a big life change and go vegan! See how your body reacts to different methods, and pick the one that's right for you.

Take Nike's Advice and Just Do It
Make an extra effort to keep some workout clothes and a pair of shoes in your car, or have them readily available at home, so when you get the urge to move, there are no excuses in your way. Just get up and go! Even if it's for 15 minutes, EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS. Be prepared for success.

Well, whatever it is you decide to do, commit to it. Don't say no to the cupcake now, and have one for dinner. Make positive choices in your life, and you'll get positive results.

PinkStar26