I love birthdays! I love getting my close friends gifts because it's an opportunity to be thoughtful and nice without it being weird. LOL.
I am feeling very, very strange today. I don't really believe in superstition, and today is Friday the 13th. But I suddenly got this strange, sad feeling. Kind of like self-pity, but I wasn't thinking of anything in particular.
I'm not really feeling great today; I couldn't sleep last night, I was tossing and turning because of the heat I think. Also my elbow was hurting (I contribute that to my budding carpal tunnel), and I woke up really late this morning. Look like crap, feel like crap. Oh well. I just gotta make the best of what I have today.
I am not sure why I am feeling the way I am feeling today. It almost feels like the pre-cursor to an anxiety attack, but my brain has not spiraled to that point. It feels very uncomfortable. I can usually throw on some awesome Big Bang music and drown out my worries, but it's not quite working today. I think I just need some time to myself to unwrap these feelings and figure out what's bothering me.
To be honest, I think i've been kind of depressed on some unknown level. I've found that I have cycles of being proactive, and being listless and sloth-like. I'm in one of those stagnant periods, where i'm not being active, not being helpful, being lazy and generally scattered. I really wonder how school is going to affect this cycle. I have a feeling I'm gonna need to get myself together this next week before school starts. I think i'm going to take this weekend to unwind, and next weekend to gear up.
Breathe in, breathe out. Big Bang. Type, type, type. Chai. Type, type, type. Water. Breathe in, breathe out. Get a grip. Smile at the computer screen. GRIIIN. Inhale, exhale.
I'm looking forward to some hopeful relaxing pauhana tonight.
Have a great weekend!
PinkStar26
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